By: JANA GREENE
I try to keep my content positive, but you know, sometimes we just need to bitch about reality, since life continues to be so real and at times, really hard.
And since I’m writing about life in general – the good, the bad, and the ugly, today’s topic is My Shitty Health. Consider it a little vent sesh about struggling with chronic illness. So, really fun content, I know. But perhaps you struggle with health issues too? You are not alone, friend.
Friday night was my pumpkin-turned-carriage moment as a person with chronic illness. My husband treated me to my favorite fancy restaurant for a delicious dinner.. I had the energy to go, and the ability to EAT and digest, even (which sounds like a given, but is not for me.)
Toward the end of dinner, I started feeling puny, and by Saturday lunchtime, I was sick as a dog. My carriage turned pumpkin before I even had time to lose my glass slipper. Dadgum it, here we go again.
Apparently, I picked up a sinus / respiratory bug, and it’s kicking my booty. Part of my plethora health-related genetic mutations is that my immune system sucks.
And ANYTIME I’m functionally sick, my body responds to it with an attack of major inflammation, which causes my systemic pain to skyrocket. So I’m stuffy and coughing, and the coughing subluxes my ribs. This is no fun at ALL.
Also, I’m sad and disappointed. You see, we missed the John Crist comedy show last night, and we’ve I’ve had the tickets for MONTHS. It’s my birthday week (the 24th) so we had all kinds of fun stuff planned this weekend and week, none of which is happening now. And
I’m trying to be a good sport. I am grateful for all the blessings I so richly enjoy in this life, and I take nothing for granted – not even digesting. I realize so many others are fighting so much worse with illness and injury. I get that.
Like anyone who battles chronic illness, I miss out on things. And by proxy, my husband misses out too. The worst occasion was the time I missed the wedding of a young lady you is like family to me. I just couldn’t rally, and it made me so sad.
So as I lay here, salty about being ill, I’m going to what my therapist recommends, which is baby myself. “You know to expect pain flares and ‘down’ days,” she advises. “So plan on taking a self-care day when that happens.”
In other words, don’t fight it on those days. Lean into it as you would in taking care of anyone else. Comfy blankets, streaming movies, and writing. (Always with the writing, because it’s the only way I can get out of my own head.)
So, I eat nourishing food, sleep extra, and for Lord’s sake, let go. Letting go of unrealistic expectations is half the battle, and anger at my own body doesn’t help – it is doing the best that it can. .
If you struggle too, this is your reminder to take care of yourself during the bad days as you would take care of the people you love. Because you and I are worth the effort, even as the pain of hard days cohabits with the gratitude for good days.
When your carriage turns into a pumpkin, well…make pumpkin pie, I guess.
Blessed be, friends. Be kind to yourself today.