“Sometimes the light is shining on me, other times, I can barely see” – The Grateful Dead
Can I just be honest?
I hate change.
The past several months have been one change after another for me, and I resent it. I’m ready for some normalcy, but I no longer believe it exists. I’ve decided that believing in “normal” is for suckers.
What do I hate about change? I hate that good things go away, and bad things come around – before the good things come back.
I hate that change seems to happen at the precise moment that I seem to find my groove. Change often feels like having the rug yanked out from under me. You know that rug….the one that can feel like a genuine magic flying carpet, before it gets yanked.
I like riding on the high of good times. I cling on to the good times as if they are The New Normal. I like the exuberance of feeling ‘normal.’ Normal seems, for all the world, to have a rhythm, a steadiness. But changes keep rolling in.
Peace sometimes gets disrupted, and chaos ensues – it is lost, before it can be found again.
Jobs, weight, weather – all forever rising and falling – and getting on my ever-loving nerves.
Fresh things get stale.
Income comes in, and becomes “out-go” in the blink of an eye. Bills go up, the market goes down.
Kids outgrow their childhoods, but don’t leave when you are ready for them to fly. Then they grow up, and leave before you’re ready.
Relationships grow and change, morphing in uneven spurts.
Feelings in a footrace with facts, boundaries built and crumbled.
The world is a mess – just look at the news! Nothing stays stable – nothing on this earth.
Pets grow old and sick., and pass away (we lost two beloved animals in a two month span.)
We – and our circumstances – change unevenly.
Don’t even get me started on hormones… Oy vey!
Lately it occurs to me….what a long, strange, interesting trip it’s been
And the hardest changes? Spirits get bound and released, and broken and mended. (Why can’t they just stay mended?)
I suppose because….It just wouldn’t be “normal.”
Jesus said, “In this life, you will have trouble,” and He wasn’t whistling Dixie. I think he was saying, in a way: “In this life you will have change.”
In this life, you will lack for normal….if you’re “normal.”
So, is it normal to hate change?
I decided to look up synonyms for “normal” in the thesaurus – to see if Webster could define what I cannot. Interestingly, “normal” is synonymous with ordinary. Its meaning is the same as “ uniformity, average, common, and routine.”
I cannot relate to any of those words. They are not words I would claim over my life. I do not ask God for average, common. Where is the interestingness? Where is the exuberance?
The antonyms –exact opposites of “normal” are magic-carpet words: buoyant, eager, exciting, vigorous, vital, and zesty. (Zesty!)
I am learning to “go with the flow,” really. I’m trying. Since change seems to be the order of the day, I really need to enjoy the ride. My hatred of so many changes doesn’t seem to be preventing any of it, anyway.
Circumstances will never stop evolving, but eventually …
New, fresh things come to pass with change. Buoyant, vital things. Change means the change in seasons just when you are sick and tired of the current one. It means new babies. Sunrises. Music you’ve never heard before. Laughing about something that you have the frame of reference to appreciate now – because of all the changes.
Relationships deepen and broaden, and become more enlightened – if not ‘normal.’
Kids do grow up, and have their own kids to contend with (ahhhh, a sweet consideration!)
And God still loves this messy, messy world – made up of so many lives that will have trouble. So many lives who will have change.
Normalcy is for suckers, honestly. I’m sure of it.
10 thoughts on “Normalcy is for Suckers”
Normal also means “expected”. I like to know what’s expected of me and what to expect. In short, I like to be in control. The funny thing is, I don’t know anyone who isn’t normal by that definition! We can be suckers together. 🙂
YES! Thank you, Karen – exactly! I’ve heard it said that “normal is only a setting on the clothes dryer.” I’m believing that more and more as time goes by!
Let go of the wheel! Let us launch into a long strange trip to unknown places. Let’s slide into our graves (many years from now) raving about our zesty, exciting, vigorous lives with burnt out earth suits but experiences of a lifetime.
(Besides, God has the wheel).
I enjoyed reading your post tonight. I don’t mind change so much if it’s good or beneficial; but the kind that you spoke of, you know when you are blindsided and feel like the rug was yanked out from underneath you, is not the kind of change I like to embrace. The Bible does caution us that trouble will come, seasons will change, but through it all we are to lean on Him. Doesn’t mean we have to like it, right? Beth
LOL, right,Beth! I am leaning into Him now, and trying not to lean in to my own understanding. Love to you.
Yes, Baby. Oh how I love you, Man of my Dreams. Thank you for being the most supportive husband in the world – and yes, lets live zesty, exciting, vigorous lives together and wear our earth suits up on exhuberance. Love you. (And thank you for the reminders that God has GOT this!)
oh boy, can I relate!
You are NEVER alone, eh, Ena?
Oy! Vey! Oh can I ever relate and just love, love, love this!! Can’t wait to have a NORMAL day one of these days and catch up on your lovely blog and you and us and yes….all the changes we go thru: horrific, fantastic, unexpected, tiny miracles, exhausting, exhilarating, often unknown and unexpected. Trusting the one at the Control Station who is guiding us on the roller coaster of life. And sometimes a “normal” day once taken for granted, seemingly never to return, is handed back to you as a small and temporary gift…..grace sufficient for only today, and what is normal, is actually an extraordinary day!! Normal is not only for suckers, but the incredibly naive. PS — Did you know I still carry your “Playing the Cards Your Dealt” article (before you blogged) in my bible all these years. I refer to it often, dog eared and tattered, reminding me that in order to win, the key is just don’t fold, despite a hand that sometimes appears dismal. Life like cards can turn in either direction in a single play! LOVE YOU!!!