By: Jana Greene
“Be still and know that I am God.” – God
Yeah, but it’s HARD to be still!
Sometimes it’s almost unfortunate that our Creator has endowed us with this thing called “free will.”Free will has gotten me into a lot of jams.
God, if you knew me, you totally wouldn’t trust me to me.
You know, the will that keeps telling you that you don’t have a disease called addiction.
That you can stop anytime you want.
That you have a plan and it looks like doing what you’ve always done.
But if nothing changes, nothing changes.
Recovery in real time doesn’t look like a baby-steppable feat, but a free fall. Every single day, I surrender my will to my Father’s, because I know he only has my best interest at heart.
Every single day, I don’t drink today. No matter what happens, I don’t have to take a drink on this very day.
And tomorrow, I will wake up and surrender my free will again, just for tomorrow.
Bite-sized pieces, you see. Bite off enough recovery today to nourish yourself today. Then free fall into the love of a very real Father.
So often we try to do the opposite. Bite off more than we can chew by declaring we can never, ever drink again and poor pitiful us! And we chase it with ‘babystepping’ just to make it through the day.
This is not the life your Father desires for you!
You don’t fail God when you fail, dear one! That’s an old trick of the enemy. He wants you to feel like a failure. Don’t give that rat bastard the pleasure.
Instead, surround yourself with other people whose free wills are also prone to malfunction. Find as many as you can and watch what they do to just NOT drink. Take what you need and leave the rest, as they say in the Rooms.
Here’s the thing – God totally does know you. He isn’t tolerating you and your janky free will. He is madly and passionately in love with you, in all of your jankyness. He gave us free will so that when we choose to receive His love, it comes from us mind, body, and soul.
Be still and trust in His perfect will for you….
That He has only your best interest at heart.
That He knows you intimately and loves the bejeebers out of you JUST AS YOU ARE.
That He has the most amazing adventures for you to enjoy, and to enjoy SOBER so that you can be mindful of the miracles as they unfold.
If you can’t be still and know that He is God, be mad that He is God. Let Him know that you relinquish trying to push Him out of a job, and if you can manage it, surrender your will to Him.
You’ve got this, daughter of the Most High, because He has YOU.
Musings of a Gypsy Soul 
Thanks for this. As with so many of us, surrender is my issue especially when it comes to speaking my mind. I absolutely cherish the one line…If you can’t be still and know that He is God, be mad that He is God. I think you aimed that one at me. LOL. But in the end I get and appreciate the take away of the daily bread, bite sized pieces…just enough for that day. (Oh there is some profound tie in to manna in the wilderness in there somewhere). Jana, thanks for sharing yourself through this today….I REALLY needed this. Love and Peace…
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You are so very, very welcome, my friend. I needed it, too. So many times I sit down to write something and God has all other ideas, and when I’m done, I’m like, ‘Huh. I guess I needed that.’ Haha 🙂
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