Spiritual

The Language of Heaven is Loudest Through our Humanity

Photo by Darya Sannikova on Pexels.com

By: JANA GREENE

Sometimes, the “language of Hell” isn’t complaining, sometimes it’s denial.

Sometimes humans have issues and worries that overwhelm them, but they are afraid to give those worries voice because your average American Super Christian expects them to hold it together.

This evangelical version of the stuff-upper-lip isn’t helpful.

The relationship model in which you and God play mind games until every vestige if your humanity is stripped bare is a bad relationship model.

Denial isn’t just a river, but it might be an ocean. We are just floating, not willing to admit our feet can’t touch the bottom. All while wondering how long we can hold our breath before we drown.

It isn’t even Biblical (maybe, depending on the millions of ways you could spin it. Like most other things, interpretation is pretty pliable.)

Under our sanctified breath, we say…

All is well!

This doesn’t hurt!

What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger!

No, really! Doesn’t hurt a bit!

Hooboy, I’m getting really strong!

Complaining is the language of Hell, but so is Denial, in which I am fluent because it’s my mother tongue.

Let’s talk about the language of Heaven, which you instinctively already know. You don’t even need a translator.

The Kingdom of God is within you – even with all of the repairs and remodels.

You carry Heaven in your aimless floating.

You carry Heaven in your breath when you encourage others.

You carry Heaven when you love risky people.

No American Super Christian-ese necessary.

Jesus was not afraid to show his humanity. He didn’t deny either his Holiness or his human-ness, so why do we think we can’t let our true selves be known?

Blessed be, friends.

Depression · Spiritual

Taking a mental Health Day (to sleep, to meditate, to wallow in my feelings, and cry until I’m 10% snot and tears)

By: JANA GREENE

Taking a mental health day today.

Slept shitty last night.

The whole world is on fire.

My gastroperesis is flaring so hard I’m barely able to keep any food down. This throws other medical issues into a hellish spiral.

My chronic pain has been ridiculous.

We have very difficult things to deal with in the family right now. Really hard things.

I’ve cried several times today, which is no small feat when you’re on antidepressants. It felt awful to cry, and then really good…cleansing.

And it seems a counter-intuitive measure to wallow around in pain and sadness, but every once in a while, you need a good wallow.

Today I will cry, and rest, and bitch about my woes to my ever-patient husband.

I will likely beat myself up for having to cancel plans with friends, and hate myself for feeling melancholy.

I will feel like I am not handling life well AT ALL. (While reminding myself that despite it all, knowing I’m doing my very best.)

At some point, to be transparent, I will feel guilty for even having this little nervy-B, guilty for unloading on my husband, and guilty for having the audacity to complain about this life, when I am truly blessed in so many ways.

I’m pretty sure I’m not done crying today. God, I hope not. There’s a long line of tears queued up in my spirit that need to be purged.

I hope that tomorrow, by some measured miracle, the world on fire won’t seem quite so much like utter doom.

Today I will wallow. I’ll sleep and watch Schitt’s Creek (it’s a balm to my soul), and talk with God about WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. And I’ll look forward to better days.

Because they are always on the way, you know – better ones.

I’ll keep hanging on if you will, Dear Reader. ❤️