By: Jana Greene
I’ve been in a bad marriage, and I’ve been in a great marriage. My husband and I just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary.
Here are some little things I’ve found to be true about my happy marriage, and things I have noticed about other happily-married couples:
(And note: It takes two to tango! You can’t float a healthy relationship all on your own.)
Having a kid won’t save a relationship.
Having ANOTHER kid also won’t save a relationship.
Spending a ton of money on a wedding doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage.
It’s oft-said, but don’t go to bed angry, if you can help it.
Just because the internet said it’s healthy, doesn’t mean it’s healthy for YOU two.
The ”silent treatment” makes things worse.
But giving someone asked-for space is respecting their boundaries.
This is important (and mondo challenging…) Sincerely WANT better for your partner than yourself. And vise versa. Consistently.
Hold hands even when you’re angry. Especially when you’re angry.
Conflict is natural and normal. Expect it.
Collect experiences as a couple, not stuff.
Keep NO secrets from each other.
You can’t tell a person “too often” that you love them. Slather that phrase on your partner generously. Go ahead and be sappy if it makes your little betrothed heart happy.
Doing fun stuff for the sake of doing fun stuff together is always a worthy endeavor.
LAUGH. Laugh together at the absolute absurdity of the world we live in. Laugh like your marriage depends on it, because at some points, it might. Humor – even gallows humor – is pretty bonding.
Let a power higher than yourselves guide you both. Listen to your gut and heart, which God uses to communicate with you. And trust it.
Oh, and the picture-perfect couples on social media whose relationships seem flawless? Yeah – that’s a lie. It’s PICTURE-perfect be cause it’s only perfect in the pictures. Lies, I tell you.