By: Jana Greene
My leg, which I had surgery on in March, is healing very nicely. Frankenankle, as I affectionately refer to it because of the hardware that now holds it together and the scar that holds in the hardware, has become a bit of a lesson to me about various things. One of those things was a reality check on my faith.
Two days before the injury, I’d had faith that all would be okay. My plans to do projects around the house get in shape and find a new job had been carefully crafted for weeks. I thought I was really flexing my “faith muscle” in believing my plans were foolproof! “Lord, bless my plan,” was what I had prayed, essentially. And believed, foolishly, that it was a reasonable request.
Many weeks later…..
When the surgeon first assessed the damage, he declared that the surgery “shouldn’t put you back all summer….”
Excuse me? This could take all summer to heal? That’s just not ok!
But it would have to be.
But I’d had faith!
I found out what the doctor had meant about the time-frame when I had healed well enough to come out of the “boot”. Even after graduating from the boot to the support bandage, Frankenankle would be weak. I mean very, very weak. It looks puny and pale, and although I can walk on it for short bursts, it is painful when I’ve put it under too much pressure, flexed it the wrong way, or stepped out of a normal pace. It revolts, “Oh no you DIDN’T!”
I am so over it – over my injury – in my mind. My leg, however, has to regain strength. By not moving it for months, it atrophied – plain and simple.
And I’d had so much faith in my plans. Sigh.
My plans. Hmmmmm.
In 2 Corinthians 12:9, we are told by Jesus that “My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.”
Which of course, having had years in active recovery from alcoholism, I know. I’m familiar with the verse; I just forget that His grace is all I need in relation to all of my weaknesses. In having faith in my plans, I wasn’t using my faith muscle at all. Faith in myself is puny, pale and usually results in pain. It atrophied my faith muscle.
But looking to His plans with great expectation? Supernatural strength. It takes some stepping out, and sometimes my flesh – wanting my way – revolts…”Oh no you DIDN’T!”
Oh yes. Yes, I did.
Today, my prayer is “Lord, bring me into your plan, your will. Stepping out of my normal pace, I am expecting His strength to be manifest in my weakness, and I have plenty of weaknesses. My faith is again being strengthened again by Him. He is so patient and awesome that way. “I’m at your disposal, God….” I pray.
I’ve got all summer (plus a lifetime) to be present for His plan, and authentic faith that yes – all will be ok.