I don’t want to be a survivor anymore,

Staggering through future’s door

Waiting for there to be more

Than just getting through.

A survivor’s a great thing to be,

It’s just not enough for me

To have made it through the dark melee

And be on the other side

Of the abuse I suffered as a child,

The alcoholism that reviled

Against me as I reconciled

The present with the past.

I waved the white flag banner high

And shook my fists at a broken sky

It is finished, and yet nigh

I’m still shaking wounded fists.

It is for freedom we’ve been set free

Not just scraping by you see,

Or living in fragility,

No slavery harness holds.

No more do I accept as fact

That giving up is giving back,

That white is white and black is black,

Redemption is complete in me.

I’m empowered by the force

That set the earth upon it’s course,

I’ll live no more with bleak remorse

But as one favored by the Source.

A survivor’s a great thing to be,

It’s for freedom I’ve been set free

Abundant and exceedingly

No more a slave to past.

I’m picking my mat up off the floor

And walking with surety through future’s door,

Head held high and in bondage no more!

More than a survivor.

• By Jana Greene – TheBeggarsBakery.com

A little background on this one. I have a variety of autoimmune, chronic pain, and depressed immunity problems. I wrote this to express what it’s like to have a janky “Earth Suit” because I was at a place of extreme frustration with my body. I think we can all relate to the frustrations that comes with our aging bodies. We are confined to these flesh prisons, which are both glorious and fallible. God bless us, every one.

Pink and soft, untainted,

Newborn awed by brand new life,

When I was born from Mother’s womb,

Cord cut by doctor’s knife.

God had poured my soul in it,

When only several cells,

Making a perfect vessel

In which my soul to dwell.

Customized for me alone,

This body built for play,

Face to show expression,

Hands to fold and pray.

A young and ceaseless wonder,

Against wear and tear prevailed,

This body perfect for childhood,

Exquisite in detail.

But content to be a child,

Growing up soon followed,

And before I could accept it,

A woman shared my suit.

Round and curvy and soft again,

I, this time, cut the cord,

I thought I would survive in it,

But it instead became my ward.

All the world could offer,

It greedily consumed.

Full the flesh that gave it weight,

Void the soul it roomed.

And though the days went slowly,

The years at light speed passed.

I came to see this Earth Suit

Was never made to last.

The vessel now shows wearing,

In time it will decay.

But the Spirit that inhabits it

Will never pass away.

When a soul has done it’s growing

Within the confines of it’s shell,

I will leave this strange foreign space

Ageless, free, and well.

What ticking clock can’t take from me,

What ocean cannot rust,

What thief can never steal from me,

What cannot turn to dust,

What grave and tomb cannot confine,

And moths extract a toll,

Awed now my eternal life,

The everlasting soul.

For the human body is but a shell,

A suit to wear on Earth,

The Human soul, after all,

Is the measure of true worth.

• By: JANA GREENE – TheBeggarsBakery.com

By: Jana Greene

I hope you know it wasn’t you,
When all of it is said and through,
When damage from the floods recede,
I hope that you can still believe.

I hope you know I really tried
To reconcile the pain inside
And find a way to overcome
Before my pieces came un-done.

I was walking wounded then,
I didn’t have the tools to mend….
I tried to stick close to your side.
I failed, but Jesus knows I tried.

My instinct is to protect you, love.
I lost the strength to rise above
So I did the only thing I knew,
To protect my spirit, too.
And in time, I withdrew.

I hope you know it wasn’t you.

Afraid to open doors to ghosts
And raise the specters I fear most,
I faded off into the clear.
(I can only survive from over here.)

I’m still un-done in places, you see,
Where life has gotten the best of me,
But I love you all the same.
I hope you bear no fault or shame.

You mean the world to me still now.
I don’t know when or where or how
To make things better, so I pray
God smile upon your life today.

God show mercy on this soul
Whom I love and lost in whole,
When the pieces threaten to unbind,
Give peace to this anguished mind.

When memories keep on pushing through…
I hope you know it wasn’t you.